Dear Friend

15 Apr

Dear friend,

It’s just hitting you now that this is it, you’re almost gone and it’s the end of the road. But what you don’t understand is how much grieving I did already. Seems like you’re just now catching up. Here’s what I could never say to you in person: you left me. I’m not saying that in an accusatory manner, it’s just how it happened: you’re the one who left. And when I came back I had this new roommate who wasn’t you, possibly the furthest thing from you, and that sucked. I really, really missed you and I still do. Talking to you on the phone and texting was ok but having you around all of the time to exchange stupid stories and watch our shows and stay up ridiculously late talking, helping each other overanalyze texts and give each other the most custom-made advice in the world and be able to go anywhere together and have a good time and making it to Shitty’s at the end of the night (or not)…all that was so much better.

And honestly, I also didn’t love talking to you on the phone because you made me feel like your new life is so grown-up and exciting and mine is just the same old shit, not even worth discussing. And when you came to visit, it was the same. I never realized how boring my life was to you until I noticed that you don’t even ask anymore. I guess at some point I stopped trying. I know that was my fault. But you said it’s the end of an era and you’re right. The era ended when you left, and I wish you would stop trying to blame me for what has happened to us.




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