Dear high school crush

15 Apr

Dear high school crush,

I still can’t get over you.

There, I said it. I feel angry and sad and pathetic for saying it, but it’s the truth. I feel angrier and sadder and more pathetic about not saying anything when I still had the chance. I feel angriest and saddest and most pathetic about feeling this way in the first place.

You were a mean, self-centered jerk. You hated that I was smarter than you and loved to toy with my emotions. Other than that, you never paid any attention to me. I always paid way too much attention to you. We ruined each other’s prom nights and never spoke again.

I thought that was the end of it. I thought moving away for college would finally free me from your influence. And it has, sort of. I’ve fallen for plenty of other people. But after those crushes fade, I’m always left thinking about you.

Did you care about me at all, ever? Or was it really all in my head? I wish I could write my questions on a sheet of paper and slip it into your locker like I did when we were in middle school: “Do you like Kelsey? Circle one: yes or no.”

But that’s out of the question, obviously. The best I can do now is to apologize for all the ways I screwed things up and all the times I was afraid to tell you how important you were. I want to ask you for a second chance, but it’s too late because according to Facebook you’re dating someone now. She seems nice and you guys make a cute couple, and I don’t want to wreck that just so I can satisfy my curiosity and start something that probably wouldn’t work out anyway. And if you’re happy and I’m not, at least I can console myself with the fact that I’m not ruining anyone’s life but my own.

Love always,

Kelsey

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One Response to “Dear high school crush”

  1. James K September 30, 2013 at 11:00 pm #

    Back in the day me (James Klich), Kathy Calo and Heather Cameron used to go meet Brian Gilliam at the Pet Shop in Blackwood or the surrounding area for lunch and dinner. We would leave out James Jordan for obvious reasons. On one occasion we got followed to the Pet Shop by James Jordans dad. Later we went out to eat and for some reason James Jordan showed up one table away with his crew. It was James Jordan, Scott Smith, John Taylor and James dad. They all kept giving us dirty looks. We ignored them and James screamed horror! James Jordan me and Jeffery Ludewig are going to take you down. The Asians are running things now.

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