Dear “It’s up to you”

4 May

Dear you,

Remember when we were friends? I do. It wasn’t very long ago, actually. It’s not easy to admit, but I think about you almost every day. I wonder what you are doing, how things are going. I see things all the time that remind me of you, but I no longer send them your way.

I’m trying to stay away from you; it’s what everyone tells me to do. You’ve broken so many promises and neglected me. I know it’s for the best that we keep our distance, but I never wanted to give it up. I think about what you might tell other people if they ask what happened between us. Do you tell them it was you who let things slip away? Do you remind them that it was you who never called back, never kept plans, never bothered to give it what you could?

What kills me is that I know you need me just as much as I need you. I have no real best friends anymore. You’re not the first person who has burned me, you know. But you will be the last. I’ve lost hope.

If you ever tried to make an effort again, I’m not sure what I’d do. You’re one of the few people that gets me, but is that enough? I know you need me now with what you’re going though. I want to reach out. I know how you are. But the ball is not in my court anymore.

I hope you treat your other friends better than you treated me. You always talked about how lonely and depressed you’ve felt your whole life and how I was your best friend, but what about me? Maybe I’m just better at hiding the things that eat up my insides. I’d understand your pain more than you know.

So good luck with life. Maybe I’ll never get over you. Maybe we’ll reunite. It’s up to you…



2 Responses to “Dear “It’s up to you””

  1. Shane May 4, 2009 at 6:28 pm #

    Dear Mom,

    This is not going to be long, but I just wanted to thank you for everything you have done for me my whole life. I know I was a bit of a handful in high school and not quite what you expected of me, and I know I still can give you quite a bit of grief, but I also know you are very proud of me and what I have accomplished since then. Thank you for never losing faith in me and for always supporting me through thick and thin (especially financially). You and Dad have both always been there for me and always support my educational endeavors no matter what the cost, and it means a lot. I promise there will a large turn around for you and you’ll be able to live a long happy life and not have to worry about finances after too long ever again. Thanks for being a great mother.


  2. KML June 14, 2009 at 9:33 pm #

    How can it be that this letter could have been written to me by the very person I could have written it to. Do we hide the same pain that we have caused one another and not know it? I love a few people so much that I cant live in the past or let whats been done long ago get in the way of the here and now. I’ll always be genuine and loyal, I dont know how not to be once someone really matters in my life.

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