Dear “I’m scared for you”

6 May

Dear You,

I love you.  You’re one of my best friends and I care so much about you.

But I’m scared for you.

You don’t take your medications anymore.

Every time you call, I fear that it’s not going to be you on the other line.  I’m afraid that it’s going to be a paramedic desperately seeking a friend or family member to tell them that their loved one has killed himself.

Everything you’ve told me has stayed between us.  I would never betray your trust, but I worry about you.  I can tell you’re no longer happy.

You’ve fallen out of love with your girlfriend.  You’ve told me this personally.  You might have been drunk at the time, but I know it’s the truth.  You don’t look at her the same way you used to.  I don’t care how long you’ve been dating and if your family and friends expect you to get married.  She’s not the one for you.

Those nights we stayed up late, just you and me, talking, listening to “Konstantine” play on repeat…those nights mean more to me than I can ever say.

When I woke up that one morning, my head on your shoulder and your head on mine, our fingers intertwined – I’d never felt such love and intimacy in a friendship before.

We’ve shared so much together, and I can’t imagine my life without you, so this is my one request to you:


Take care of yourself.  I want to see you happy and not just because you’re drunk.  You’re better than that.

Go back to university and finish your degree.  Follow through with your dreams.  You, of all people, deserve to see them come true.

I love you, and I hope you can do the same someday.



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