Dear “Liberal” parents

12 May

Dear Mom and Dad,

I know you say you are liberal, but what would you say if you knew I was dating a girl? You talk about these big dreams for “someday when my baby girl gets married.”  Well, I can’t do that in Missouri.  What would Great-Grandma Naomi say if I went up to Iowa to marry a woman?  I guess her eyesight’s bad enough my hypothetical wife could just deepen her voice and we’d tell G.G. that nothing was amiss.

I’m scared that you’ll be angry. You’ll say I ruined everything.  You’ll stop bragging about how proud you are of me.
Or, even worse, you’ll brag more. You’ll introduce me as your gay daughter. You’ll start attending rallies. You’ll stop seeing me as Me and see me as a something. Your gay child. I don’t want a label. I just want to be who I am.
And you wouldn’t be supporting gay marriage because you truly believe in it. Only because you know someone who is gay.

I’m afraid you would blame my girlfriend. Say she is the reason my grades aren’t as high as they could be. But she has nothing to do with that.

I don’t know how you would handle the news, but it’s unlikely I’ll ever tell you. You don’t take big news well. You say you’re too stressed.  Think about how stressful it is to hide the woman you are in love with from your parents.

When it comes to the point where I’m ready to marry another woman, I suppose I’ll have to tell you. But even if I’m forty years old, I’ll still be afraid when I say the words.

I do love you, despite your few homophobic tendencies and your old-fashioned beliefs. This is the only area in which you are bad parents. So when it comes time for me to tell, please keep in mind how much I love you, and remember how much you love me, too.

With fear and hope,

Your Lesbian Daughter


One Response to “Dear “Liberal” parents”

  1. hopefull for you May 14, 2009 at 10:53 pm #

    Beautiful letter. I hope that someday you decide to tell your parents & I hope they accept you for the wonderful person you seem to be.

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