Dear Jordan

16 May

Dear Jordan,
       I want to start off by saying you are the best friend I have ever had. I have never been closer to another person emotionally or spiritually. Now, with that said, I want to tell you that I love you. Yes, in the sense that you are my best friend but also that I love you with the entirety of my heart. I would love nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to spend my remaining days on this earth with you by my side. I want to fall asleep with you in my bed, laying next to me in my arms, at least until my arm falls asleep and I have to wake it up for fear of losing it ;). But to be honest, you could take my arm if I got to lay there watching you sleep for eternity. I want to bring you breakfast in bed. I want to make love to you in the afternoon. I want to be the father of your children. I want to take care of you when you get sick. I want to be the one you come to when things get bad. I want to be the love of your life. You make me want to be a better man.
       I’ll never send you this letter, Jordan. I just know that if I don’t write this down now I’ll just keep it inside of my heart forever. I do not even know how to describe why I need to get this out, but trust me I do. You are my soul mate and no matter what I do, you will never see me in the same light, and I fucking hate you for that. I’m a roller coaster of emotions because of you. I want to stab my eyes out every time I see you, knowing that you will be with someone else. I can’t stand knowing that my love will be wasted. I know some of that may seem a bit harsh but like a good friend once told me, “You can’t help the way you feel.”
       Though you may never read this letter, but maybe (just maybe) someday its meaning will reach you anyways. It may be the dreamer in me, but without hope, what’s the point anyway? I love you. I always will. And even if you never love me back, I will always be your friend through thick and thin.

                                         With hope and despair,
                                         Matt

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One Response to “Dear Jordan”

  1. sethe May 17, 2009 at 5:16 am #

    OMG! Matt… Go tell her!!! Take the chance… Things will never be the same after that… you have to get ready for that. She may or may not accept you… But let it out! You’ll never know…until you start talking. Goodluck!!!

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