Dear stb

23 Jun

stb,

you’re the only thing worth living for anymore. i can’t stand the constant pressure every single person puts on me. they’re ALWAYS looking for something to judge, expecting some crazy amazing feat that’s practically inhuman. Why? why do they all think I’m wonderful and perfect? because I’m not…

I’m crumbling. and its awful, and i really just cant stand it and i want out so badly. at times, i find myself with that blade in my hand ready to go, but that one part of my brain stopping me is always filled with you. I’m scared though…whats going to happen when i completely let go?

whats going to happen when i stop caring at all? i can feel myself on that edge, being slowly pushed over…

help me. please. i don’t want to leave you, ever, but i just cant handle it, nobody else even cares.

I’m sorry if i do something drastic, and i never get the chance to see you again. i love you Sam, i just wish things were different, and we could actually be together every single day.

i wish we could finish our story with a happily ever after. we’ve got that fairytale beginning…

I’m sorry.

-L

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One Response to “Dear stb”

  1. dmr June 23, 2009 at 8:51 pm #

    when you stop caring at all you have to push on…no matter how it seems sometimes there is always someone that cares. I care. Please don’t do anything to hurt yourself. I know how you feel, every single day…but I’m still here. I have lost so much in the last 2 years that I wonder what on earth I’m here for except to hurt. Ask for help, it’s the only way…
    with love,
    dmr

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