Dear Brother

11 Aug

Dear brother.
I love you. I wish that we spoke. I wish that you cared about me enough to call at least once in a while, I am your little sister. It hurts to see all the beautiful sibling relationships around me while I nurse my resentment for you not caring. Why do you not care? What is it that I could have done to make you hate me like you do? Of all the terrible things that have happened over the course of my short life, you not being there has been the worst. I have coped with abusive relationships, my leaving home fiasco, anorexia and abortion, but you not being there has been the worst. I miss you. We all miss you. You not being here for me reinforces what everybody else has told me. I am worthless. Not even my brother can be bothered with me. Do you understand how that feels? How could you? You have not been here to see. I have tried to emulate you in every way I can, yet still you pour scorn on me whenever we happen upon each other. I am not stupid, nor childish, nor am I the annoying
little girl I was when you left. But you will not see that. You refuse. You have created a perfect grounding for a life of self hate. But you do not care.

Of all the things I wish for my Birthday, I wish that you would love me. I wish that I could stop envying those who have what I want. And all I want is you. Brother.

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