Dear Dad

16 Aug

Dear Dad,
I once wrote about how I hated you. I still do; don’t think that this letter is to apologize for that. The hate has simmered so that it’s only a quiet, bearable hate. I’m writing today to say that I’m realizing how well you know me.
You were never home, you often forgot my name, and yet you know so much. How? When we’re together, I feel like we could be friends if you hadn’t already caused so much damage.
You know my taste in music, you know of my passion for photography. You even know I love to write. No one knows that. How do you? Dad, you and I have so much in common and I can’t let us be close because of all the mistakes you made in my childhood.
The abuse, the neglect, the cheating all scarred me terribly. I’m no longer afraid of you, but I still can’t allow myself to like you. I regret that your mistakes have left me so unwilling to have a real relationship with you.
Dad, I feel like I could love you. I wish that I could. We could be a great team if only you hadn’t hurt me so much that I resist being close.
Yours truly,
Young Rachel

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