Dear You Guys

3 Oct

Dear you guys,

I’m sorry for all the lies. If I could take it all back and meet you as the real me, I would. You may think I did it for kicks but the truth is I did not know better. I know that I am an adult and should be able to control my actions but something was blocking that filter I guess. You guys are awesome people and did not deserve what I did. It’s really sad just thinking about all the time I spent pretending to be someone else. What makes it even sadder is that at the time I did not see any wrong in it. I never once stopped and thought that what I was doing was bad. When I would send pictures to you guys it really felt like me. There really is nothing I could tell you to justify what I did because I don’t know why I did it. Maybe I have some kind of mental condition. I don’t know and am to afraid to find out.

The day I told you guys was a big relief but really scary because it took almost an entire year to see the wrong in it. I kinda hate that I told you guys because I loved the friendship we had. Especially the one with you, “C”. You were totally awesome, and I loved talking to you. I know we still chat from time to time, and you text me, but I don’t feel the same. I think you would have been one of my best friends if I had not messed things up. When you send me all those friendship text messages and the ones about how you love me and thank God you have me in your life … man they make me so so happy but I doubt that you send them because you mean it. I think you send it because I’m in your list of contacts. I really wish we could talk about what happened even though it seems like you forgot all about it and continued our friendship. I know you wonder why, and I would love to tell you but I don’t have that answer but talking about it would be great. I hope one of you reads this and knows who it’s from. If you do, I’m really sorry from the bottom of my heart.

Please call me, and lets talk about it.

Sincerely,

Confused and really sorry.

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One Response to “Dear You Guys”

  1. Mikey October 5, 2009 at 1:04 am #

    No! dont jump today. Give it time. Sometimes Hope takes it sweet time.

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