Dear Samuel

7 Oct

Samuel,

I wish things were different with us. I wish I’d never made that phone call. But at the same time, I couldn’t lead you on – you mean too much to me.  This summer was fun but I missed the late night conversations, the teasing, the friendship. I missed you.

I was so pleased when you got back in touch with me. I had the hugest grin on my face for days on end and loved sending you silly little text messages about my day.  It was like things were back to how they were supposed to be.

But then things changed. You told me all about your new girlfriend and how happy you are with her and how amazing she is. I’m not gonna lie, I was jealous. And then I was confused when it was me that you called when you were drunk. What’s a girl supposed to think?

Then you told me about your bad news. And you got pissed off when I told you the truth – that you’d acted like an idiot. And now, every time I phone you, you’re too busy to talk or you talk for a while and then make up some reason why you have to go.

I miss how things used to be. I feel like I want it all or I don’t want anything from you. It’s so much harder being friends with you than I thought it was going to be. What are we going to do Samuel? I wish there was an easy fix for this but there really, really isn’t.

I miss you,
Nat x

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One Response to “Dear Samuel”

  1. yolie84 July 2, 2010 at 12:40 am #

    It is very interesting how much I can relate to this situation. But this is the lesson that I came away with……as much as I wanted all or nothing from him….that’s really what it was. It was unfair of him to choose to have me when it’s convenient and then maintain the same kind of relationship with someone else.

    Mind you Im only privy to so much information about your situation so take from this what applies to you. If you are ok sharing him then fine but if you’re not sweetie do not let him tag you along for his convenience…..you will always realise you’re worth more than that and you deserve better than that!!

    Keep your head up my dear….

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