Dear TBG

24 Oct

Dear TBG,

I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since the day we met almost two years ago. I can’t believe it’s been two years. It doesn’t feel like it. I think we were perfect. I think that we should give it another shot, but I don’t know that I could bring myself to say that to you. It seems the more feelings I show for you, the more you act like you don’t care. I hate that. It’s not fair. I know you care; otherwise you wouldn’t get so worked up about your friends talking to me/showing interest in me. I wish that we could just be upfront with each other for one minute and say what we felt. I wish that we would talk about the past, but neither of us will ever bring it up. Drugs ruined us. Not you and not me. Drugs. We based an entire relationship off of them. That was wrong – but we were young and foolish. It seemed like fun at the time, but all I ever really wanted was to be with you. I didn’t need the pills or the cocaine. It was YOU that I was addicted to.
I thought that I had to do drugs for you to be with me but that wasn’t the case. If I stopped doing them maybe you would have too. Maybe they wouldn’t have destroyed us. The past is the past though, and it doesn’t matter. What does matter is now. Right now we could be together.  Everything could be better for both of us. We could start over. It’s not too late for us. You’re the only one that makes me happy; you’re the only one that has ever made me happy. I am absolutely head over heels in love with you. I am CRAZY about you crazy for you and nothing matters when you’re around. We didn’t give us enough time. We never let it play out. We called it quits too soon, and I know we did. I don’t have any feelings for anyone except for you. I never have and I never will. I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you by talking to your friends but you have to know that they mean nothing to me. When I had you I was always happy. I want it back. Even if we have to work at it every day. Even if I can only see you once a month. I don’t care anymore. I’m not a whole person without you. Please please please just say you want to be with me. Some people might think I’m crazy for this. But what have I got to lose because without you I have nothing.

Your girl.


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