Dear Anyone Who Cares

31 Oct

Dear anyone who cares,
  When I imagined this year I never imagined it to be what it actually is, so filled with pain and longing and saddnes over what I can never have. I never imagined the terror I would feel whenever I thought of my future. I imagined this year to be filled with fun and to have the one that I love always at my side, but he is gone out enjoying the future he always wanted, not even once thinking of me. I guess we were just highschool. Everyone who knows me is expecting me to go to college, become a lawyer and make tons of money. They heap so much pressure on me constantly telling me that I am going to make them so proud, joking about how rich and succesfull I will be, I can’t do it. The prospect of failing leaves me shaking and gasping for breath, I have never been a stressed out person but this I just cannot handle, what I want and what they want are two very diffrent things. I want a small apartment in the city somewhere with the one that I love with all my heart. I just want to be out there living, not stuck here standing still. I don’t know what the future holds for me, and I dont even want to think about it but it’s what I want that ultimately matters right?
    Sincerely,
 sms

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One Response to “Dear Anyone Who Cares”

  1. mikey October 31, 2009 at 10:19 pm #

    Dont stress. If these same people tell ya that your going to make them “so proud” then these same people should be proud of ya no matter what you do with ya life.

    Live for you.

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