Dear Otter

26 Dec


You only open up to me when you’ve been drinking, and only when no one else is around. You act differently toward me when we’re with friends, but in private, you are your sweet, caring, normal self. That dichotomy just won’t work for me.

When we left the bar last night, I was crying because I realized there might be an actual problem with the situation. Perhaps you want people to perceive you as not needing my company and my love. Yet, when we were alone, you told me that no matter how much we fight, you still have this indescribable love for me, that you need me, that you can’t imagine your life without me.

I am only in a relationship with one man – you – the one I fell in love with. That’s the only one I want. Not the distant one who makes fun of me and complains about me when I’m present, and we’re all hanging out with friends.

In your younger years, you could get drunk and pick girls up at parties. They wanted you. You were nice and charming. You were drunk. So why can’t you be charming and nice to me?

I need you to remind me that your love for me is unconditional. That’s the only way I’ll know it in my heart.



One Response to “Dear Otter”

  1. Jess February 8, 2010 at 6:44 am #

    I’ve wondered so many times about how a sweet, caring, open person can be that only when drunk and with me. I like to think that is who they are inside, honest and thoughtful, while otherwise they seem distant, untrusting, and just sometimes mean. I’m not sure if that drunk person is who they truly are, or if it’s just a fluke in their personality; some random love opened up by alcohol that is otherwise always hidden.

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