Dear Rock Dr. Hippo

14 Feb

Dear Rock Dr. Hippo,
I haven’t seen you since his wedding, but I’ve thought about you a lot. I’ve had the world’s biggest crush on you since I can remember. You are 10 years older than me, but now that I’m 20 it doesn’t really matter.  I dreamt about you last night. I looked at pictures of you today. You really are gorgeous. I know things would never work out a. because you’re my brother’s best friend. b. because you drink too much and c. because you’re way older than me, but I think you’re gorgeous. You have always treated me with so much love. I remember that time when we were camping, and you played with me because my sister was too cool to play with me. I wish I could find a guy like you. Smart, funny, intelligent, adorable. You don’t know how much I look for you in other men. You have always been the unattainable dream, the ultimate man. I looked at your pictures, but just couldn’t stop myself from lusting after you. I wish there was some way to bridge the gap between Hawaii and Idaho. Everytime I go
into one of my Geology classes I will think of you. Stay delicious.
The girl under the potatoe chip tree.


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