Dear Daughter

23 Feb

Dear Daughter,
I am sorry that I didn’t see the reason you were not coming home from college. I am sorry that I didn’t follow my gut. I wish you would have never met him. I wish I would have realized that he was beating you. I wish I could have made it okay.
I am sorry that you couldn’t come to me. I realize what fear can do to a person. I am proud of you that you finally did.
I am sorry I was not there to hold your hand through the abortion. I honestly do understand why you felt you had no choice. Your life is more important to me. You placed that baby back into the hands of god. It will not suffer the abuse of him.
I wish I could have understood the drinking (I fear I taught you to run and escape your issues). I do understand the self worth issues, the college issues, the suicide issues and the self loathing.
I am sorry that all I want to do is get even with him. What he took from you can never be replaced. I hope he suffers every day of his life.
Please baby, know that I love you. Please know that I will help you through anything, for you are my baby. Please know that there is never going to be anything that happens in your life that I will not forgive, help and do my best to fix. I love you daughter, you will always be mine no matter your age.
Please know he was wrong in everything he did. You deserve better out of your life.
Please know I am PROUD of you. You are a survivor.
You are the reason I am alive.
I love you..
Your Mommy

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