Dear Sanity

27 Mar

Dear Sanity,

I think I drive myself crazy more than anyone or anything else.  Why can’t I just be able to have a normal night.  One where I relax and read a book or watch a movie without making myself crazy.  I wanna be able to not have every insecure thought running through my mind and every worry stopping my from being care free.  I wanna fall asleep happy. Not just be happy when the sun’s shining or something goes my way, I wanna fall asleep absolutely happy. Just once. But instead I insist on driving myself past the point of sanity.  There’s no one to blame but me really.

with love during the day and depression during the night,
Me

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3 Responses to “Dear Sanity”

  1. danielle March 28, 2010 at 2:20 am #

    Dear “Me,”

    you took the words right out of my mouth. thank you for sharing. you ever wonder when it’ll go away? i hope it will for you soon. i’ll keep my fingers crossed…for me and you.

    -d

  2. ML March 28, 2010 at 2:29 pm #

    This is me, completely. But it’s getting better, slowly.
    I guess all you can do is let go, as hard as it is and as long as that takes, just let it go, and surround yourself with the people you love and the good things.
    I think as well, i’m slowly realising while it is only me to blame, it’s also only me who can fix it, it’s a mentality and while it’s my fault, i’m the only one who can help and so I have to help myself.
    I hope things improve for you, and the commenter above me. The world is a good place, I’m slowly, slowly, slowly seeing that.

  3. Amanda March 29, 2010 at 4:09 am #

    I used to be in the same boat, but then I just stopped caring. I just don’t care about all my insecurities anymore. I like myself and i don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks. I suggest meditation to help you. It’s really hard at first, but just focusing on your breath or clearing your mind completely is good training so when you do have a bad night you can just erase it. Or I make up stories when I’m trying to fall asleep. I think about something I really want and then I imagine it happening until I fall asleep. Sometimes that just makes it worse thought. I hope you find you balance because I am finally finidng mine and it is the most wonderful thing in the world. I used to doubt every turn, every step. I used to think all of my friends secretly hated me and were actually just there to laught at me. I was so wrong, but it took me being okay with myself to let all of it go. I wish you the best of luck
    -Amanda

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