Dear My Lost Life Saver

1 Apr

I keep trying to convince myself that I’m not sad and that I’m not letting you get to me. But everyone else always asks me what’s wrong and thinks I’m depressed so it’s really hard to fake it when everybody already knows.
I used to be so happy but now all it seems that all I do is cry.
I don’t know what to do. The one person who I used to be able to count on has moved on to other people, other friends. I guess she got tired of dealing with somebody like me all the time. I guess she really didn’t know how much she was saving my life.
So I’ve lost my life saver. But you’re still destroying mine.
I don’t think I’ll be able to hold on for much longer.

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3 Responses to “Dear My Lost Life Saver”

  1. Kelly. April 2, 2010 at 5:03 am #

    Think about what you have to live for. If there is even one tiny thing that you feel something positive towards, it is so not worth dying. Trust me. I’ve felt as hopeless as you do now, but now everything’s different. It’ll all change for you too.

  2. LM April 4, 2010 at 10:06 pm #

    If you can reach out on this site, I know you have the strength to reach out in another avenue. I don’t know how old you are, but all schools/universities have counselors and they are free. In fact, as down as you seem, that would be a better option than a friend at this point, because they can offer unbiased guidance – something a friend just cannot do no matter how hard they try. And by the way, a true friend doesn’t abandon when the chips are down. Remind yourself daily of what is good in your life, even if it doesn’t feel like much right now. Journal or post here to get those feelings out, because they will continue to eat you up inside if you don’t. Make a point of planning things for yourself every week that you really enjoy, no matter how small. That will help get you through this really rough period. You have gotten this far, so you have the strength to do it.

  3. Anon. April 5, 2010 at 7:06 pm #

    Sometimes people have to let go of friends for their sake – Its possible that this person cared so much about you that they had to let you go for now. I’m in that situation now. My advice? Take in your pride. Let them know how much you need them…and maybe, they’ll explain why they left. I know I would, if I had that chance. If I could, I’d tell them that I cared so much, that I couldn’t stop the person they were turning into, and it was better to love them from a distance, patiently waiting, because I couldn’t solve her problems for her.

    Take care .

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