Dear Squishy

21 May

Squishy,
I miss your voice, something I’d hear so effortlessly now struggles to be kept in my memory somehow.
I don’t see how you can do this to me repeatedly.
You’re too far away, I can’t hear your heartbeat echoing in my ears anymore.
When we broke up this time, it didn’t hurt as much as I expected it to, or maybe I just got used to the pain you’ve caused. If we know it’s not going to work out, I don’t understand why we keep trying. It only turns out hurting me in the end. Maybe you don’t even care about me, maybe you never did, or maybe you did at one point, but she ruined it all. You have to know she doesn’t love you, if she loved you she wouldn’t hurt you like she does. Maybe you like the pain she causes you, maybe you like being ignored. I told you I got too annoying, that I was wrong for wanting to be with you all the time. I didn’t mean to be to clingy. I’m so sorry for everything.
What happened to still wanting to be friends? You won’t talk to me;
I guess we’re going back to hating each other…or you hating me, and me waiting endlessly for you to return.
We all know it’s not going to work out between you and her. She’s just going to hurt you again, and I can’t stand that. I wish I could do something…but you won’t listen, you never listen.

I wish you knew how I care about you.
How I dream about you.
How I miss you.
But you never will.
…never.

I don’t think you will ever understand what you mean to me.

I love you Squish;
…I just wish you would talk to me.

-Squeals.

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