Dear D

15 Jul

Dear D,

I hate that you have made me feel what I feel for you. You knew I was married, and I knew you were, too. I don’t know why I agreed to let you kiss me the first time. That’s not right, I do know why, I had wanted to for a long time. Everytime you called, I told you I would meet you, and on the drive to see you I would tell myself how stupid it was and that I really didn’t want to go and that I would tell you it had to stop. But I never did, and 3 years later here we are. I am still hurt that you let her know about us. I can’t believe you were that stupid! I can’t believe because of this I hurt the one person who I was never supposed to hurt. He has forgiven me, but I have not forgiven myself and don’t know if I ever will. Part of that has to do with not being able to let you go. I know it is for the best, and I am being selfish, but I don’t know if I can let you go. You see all the things that I never saw in myself. You have helped me more than you will ever know. You always ask what I want, but what about you…what do you want? You said that this wasn’t a forever thing, but then you had to tell me you loved me. That changed everything! I don’t want to want you, but I do. I just don’t know what to do. I love him. He is my life, and I can’t believe that I still meet with you and could possibly ruin my whole life. Why did I let you kiss me?



2 Responses to “Dear D”

  1. kc July 16, 2010 at 11:39 am #

    I’m right there with you. I don’t know how to quit him

  2. L August 9, 2010 at 5:40 pm #

    I was the author of this letter and I am totally free of you. I couldn’t be happier! My life is so much better without you in it. I can’t believe that I did what I did with you, but I have found forgiveness and I have forgiven myself. You are a heartless bastard and I never want to see you again! Enjoy your pitiful life with her. I know you are seeing others, besides her and I am filled with glee that it isn’t me anymore. Have fun digging yourself out of the hole that you are in. I am glad I am not there to help.

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