Dear Mean Girl

25 Jul

When we were friends I learned all about the girl who randomly started hating you and your depressing trust issues. I hung out with you and your brother. The worst part, however, was the teasing. I had never considered you mean; I was brought up on the movie Mean Girls. The mean girls were pretty. The mean girls had something going for them, looks. You made fun of me. You found every chance to embarrass me. That secret I told you? Not so secret. My insecurites? Magnified. I played along, I joked around. I listened to how crappy your life is, and I swallowed my solutions. You wanted somebody who is sympathetic, not me. I wanted to tell you to fix it, to get over it, and to get a life. But really? I wanted the teasing to end. I wanted the hole you created to be filled up, and I didn’t want to be taken advantage of. Most of all, I wanted your life to be better. If your life was better, maybe you would be nicer. So I was nicer, more open, and defended you every chance I got. I thought that you would get nicer. I tried to protect you from the people who hurt me most, and you defied me. Again, my annoyance was swallowed. I stopped spending the night, not because I didn’t like you, but because you were too mean. I loved you like my sister, but you tore me down. You wanted to spend as much time with me as possible; I wanted to get away.
Thanks for listening,
Crying myself to sleep.


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