Dear J

20 Jan

Dear J

I would like to bring up some truths, some angers and some thank yous to you  in the hope you will someday read this and get that this is meant for you and you hurt me even if you don’t see it!

First I’ll start with the truths. I did love you with all my heart, and when I agreed to the engagement, it wasn’t just to use you and get a free house and spoilt children. I was 14 at the time. I didn’t even want children I didn’t want to sleep with you because I didnt want my life ruined by a baby, and the thought of sex scared me. I didn’t want your money, and I did actually want to die the time I attempted to end my life and wasnt just attention seeking.
Now the angers: The things that causes my hatred and distrust of the new men in my life. First I’d like to say I hate you because 6 months into our engagement I saw you with another girl. That hurt like hell, crazy hell, another shitty broken heart, another reason to need to die. I hate you because of the fact when I wouldn’t sleep with you, you made me. I hate you because you helped to cause my dependancy of alcohol. I hate you because you killed who I was, you stole my little bit of innocence, you killed my lily,my little girl, the one thing tying me to the earth. I hate you for changing me, in fact I hate you with my tattered heart.

thank you for nothing


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: