Dear Sis

23 Apr

Hey sis.
It’s been a few years now that your heroin addiction had torn apart this family. I’ve realized that the ONLY place you manage to stay sober is in rehab. You go to rehab for a few months (and are sober), but right when you get out, you relapse, and the family has to deal with it. I hate you for putting us through YOUR addiction. I avoid you because I hate seeing you high. When I look at you, all I see is the monster, aka heroin. I just want my sister back. This was never the relationship I wanted with you. The only reason I’m agreeing to see you tomorrow (or ever) is because I never know when you’re going to die. I don’t want my last words/actions to you to be negative. We never know when we will find you, your face blue, your heart silent… with a needle in your arm. Heroin will be the death of you. I’ve accepted that. long time ago, actually. I just want to spend what could be your last days, if you’re lucky a year at most, with you. Even if you’re high. I’m so sorry most of the attention was on me when we were younger. I’m sorry if i did anything to contribute to this addiction. Heroin addict or not, I will always love you. I wish you could beat this addiction. I wish you were able to be sober outside of rehabs. You’ve been to so many. You know what’s funny? They teach health in school. With all the years I was forced to take health, NOTHING compares to the first-hand experience of living or dealing with an addict. I’ve accepted that I’ve lost you to heroin. I’m so sorry things had to be this way. I wish I could fix it all…. but no one can do that except for you. Please fight harder. I’d love to have my sister-not the addict-back. Thanks. With all the pain you’ve caused yourself and all of us I love you. You deserve better than this. Mom and dad had such big dreams for you. So did I. You could’ve been in Columbia pre-med right now. Regardless, I’m sorry for this all.

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