Dear Whoever Will Read

24 May

Dear who ever will read.

At least one time each day I want to cry.

Everyday I have to watch my grandma’s, an ex alcoholic,mental state collapse, and its so hard knowing I can do nothing about it, and the doctors cant even find out what it is yet.

This is also taking a strain on my mum, who has her own messed up background that affects her everyday, who is having to carry the whole family, although she is one of three kids, my auntie is on the other side of the world, and my uncle most likely doesn’t give a damn about her, he only wants to know if he wants something.

I hate half of my family.

I have a boyfriend whom is also ill, an incurable disease M.E he is tired all the time and also ill a lot of the time too.
It’s hard having to watch him slip in and out of a deep depression. If I don’t contact him, I wonder if he would actually talk to the rest of the world.

I have to make an extra effort, but I cant feel like I can go to him with my problems as he has enough of his own, which I also carry, too as I care about him deeply.

I never feel like he feels the same way about me, as I feel about him.

Just to add to all the drama, my mum encourages me to dump my boyfriend at every possible chance she gets, and I just don’t know what to do any more.

I also don’t feel like I can go to my best friends either, I love them, but I feel like I’m just a burden to them if I share my inner thoughts.

I also feel so alone, that I come from a different part of the country to what I live in. I feel like an outsider, as my accent sticks out a mile away. This makes me feel alone.

Thank you for reading, it feels like I’ve finally managed to find someone who will listen to me, thank you.

From, a worried, insecure teenage girl xx

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3 Responses to “Dear Whoever Will Read”

  1. hope May 25, 2011 at 5:36 am #

    Reading this makes me want to just give you a big hug and let you cry on my shoulder and be that listening ear you need. Listen to your heart with everything and don’t let people make you feel like your any less than them. You are one of a kind and have something amazing to offer the world that nobody else has. Don’t give up hope because there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. Stay strong, be courageous and remember you’re beautiful. ❤

    • Love June 29, 2011 at 7:17 pm #

      Listen to Hope she knows what she’s talking about. And I will listen to you anytime you want.

  2. J.o.l. May 25, 2011 at 11:17 am #

    I listened, and I truly wish I could help.

    I do have one piece of advice though — Keep the accent. It’s a part of who you are. I moved from Georgia to Michigan and adapted my voice, and now I regret it.

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