Dear Mom

18 Jul

Dear Mom,
I finally realized why I lie. I lie to my friends to make my life seem fabulous and funny. I lie to be the funny person all the time. I’m the funny person to hide that I’m unhappy, which means I lie to be happy. Want to know where I learned that from? You. I have seen you sneaking around smoking and being a racist person. You’re an awful person. You don’t know how to love. I made myself a promise today, that I will never, ever be you. I will always remember that I am a blessing, I thought it was to you since you chose me through adoption, but you know maybe some people can’t have kids because they don’t know how to be a parent. I am blessed to be alive and well. I’ll always keep that in mind, your dark cloud won’t come over me. I’ll keep the happy girl/teenager/woman inside me and let her shine through, I’m sorry yours was lost. I do love you, I wish you knew how to show compassion and love to me, but I can’t wait for it, walking on eggshells. I’ll be moving on with my life as I please, and I will stop lying from this day on. I see how it hurts the ones you love.

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