Dear Love

6 Nov

Dear Love,

I don’t know where to even start. There are so many things that I need to say… I am having such a very hard time letting go and saying good bye to whatever it was, that we had. I miss you constantly. Moving on is so hard, in the back of mind I still know that you’re the one I was meant to be with….I have never been so sure of anything; this feeling haunts me every single day. Sometimes I wonder why you even came into my life; I feel as though it was a cruel joke to find you, fall so deeply in love and then to find out that we’d never have a real relationship. I can honestly say that I don’t regret any of it…I just wish things would have ended up differently.
Do you remember when we went to see that stupid Seth Rogan movie? I remember being so agrivated by your choices in movies..but once we got settled in, it ended up being quite funny. I remember watching you laugh, as I laughed. You caught me looking; and you grabbed my hand and held it tight. I can not explain what happened at that very second; but a feeling came over me that I have never known…And I just knew; I was in love with you, and I never wanted another to replace your hand. I was so scared…terrified that you would hburt me. But from that moment there was nothign I could do…I had completely lost control and I was so in love with you; I was going to do whatever it took to make you happy; I knew I wanted to share my life with you. There were so many times that I’d be having such a rough day and then you would call me…and for the first time all day I’d have a smile on my face. You have brought me more joy than you could ever know…What gets me the most is that we  were never really together…the would have beens, could have beens, should have beens play over and over in my head and sometimes I feel like my life is pointless without you. I want you to know that if I had to choose between being with you or having you be with someone else and be truly happy; I would readily choose for you to be with someone else, if that’s what you wanted..In the back of my mind I always felt like you chose her because that’s what your parents wanted, that’s what your friend’s would think was more suitable; and I really can not shake that feeling. I always felt like there was just something holding you back from doing what you really wanted…I know that you know how much I love you…Weren’t we worth a shot? I guess not. I am ending this letter in just saying that even if I never find someone I will always cherish our time together…I will never forget you. Until that day I die you will always be the love of my life. I love you more than words could ever sa y…


2 Responses to “Dear Love”

  1. ericka November 7, 2011 at 10:35 am #

    You are an amazing beautiful person you will love bigger although it may not seem possible trust that you will my friend

  2. itsahferreira March 9, 2014 at 7:37 pm #

    this is so honest and raw, i love it so much

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