Dear High School

8 Dec

dear b.p high school

Hi, I want to let you know how I’m getting on now, I hope you dont mind!!
Very luckily in my 2nd high school, I found the misfits there were much more normal and not really misfits, and they became my friends, I found the band that saved my life, but I also found the habit I’d undertaken whilst attending you grew so much stronger. I cut  at least 4 times a day, and that kept growing and growing until at one point in my life I was having to cut every hour or two. I still have the scars now nearly 7 years on, they make the pain real, and I still relive it sometimes.
After high school I went to college for a year where they found my ‘illness’ and encouraged me to go and get help, but I never did. Every day the pain would shoot through me at the sight of one of you, on the most part I escaped with a cocktail of vodka, weed and tobacco smoke. But still all that achieved was getting me told never to come back afterward.
But after college and high school with a drug and alcohol addiction and cuts covering my entire body, I found a scheme called apprenticeships and I got given one in a wonderful nursery. This helped to quit drinking and weed, which I still work at now and have completed my level two and nearly my level three!!!
But I’m still not over you. I find it so hard to go into the city centre to shop, a friend is having a 20th birthday party but I don’t know if I can go because some of you will be there, and if you hurt me I know I’ll break down, you see I always thought I’d need you dead before I could live my life, but I don’t. I’m living it now; I’m starting to get over you guys, and I never died, although you wanted it that way.

I’m sorry


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