Dear Grandad, sorry I’m carrying on…

26 Jan

Dear Grandad

Im sorry I find it so hard to visit grandma, sit in those fields you used to take us to, eat Mars bars, peaches and porridge, to look at a sheep and not think of you telling me when you died if you come back you’d be a sheep, for not being able to step into a Thorntons without being so sad I have to leave again or even go to a park especially Stratford park anymore. I’m sorry I’ve carried on living, working and being ok. Today I am most sorry for letting my sprained ankle get the better of me and using it as an excuse because my heart is actually broken by you dying!!!! Why did you die???? Why did you leave me???? us????? and so close to my 20th birthday and christmas. Everyone is already talking about me having a joint 21st with my fiance but tbh I dont want to because you wont be there, you wont see me get married, see your great grandkids, teach them how to play donkey, spoons, solitaire, you endured hours of borad games, piggy back rides, autum walks, dressing dolls, toy shops, art shops, seaside weekend sleepovers and cheeky overexcited grandchildren on boxing and christmas days. You threw us parties, ate every cake we made, let us into the secret of the Mars bar tree, the monkeys in the desolate house where you told us we belonged when we were really young. When we were little we used to play up at home time from weekend dinners, wouldn’t let our paretns read to us because they were nothing compared to you.

I’m sorry I ceased to visit you as I got older, but I never ceased to love you and still do now.

I miss you soo much grandad



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