Dear Husband, You’re an Alcoholic

21 Jun

Dear Husband,

You are an alcoholic.  Deny it all you want, but any man who finds it necessary to put 3 beers in a batman lunchbox to drink in the car while he waits in the parking lot for his kids during practice has a problem.  You drink when you get home.  You drink when you do yard work.  You drink when you watch TV. You tell me you just “need a beer”.  No one “needs” a beer that much.  And by the way, you are already an immature, obnoxious jerk when your sober; the beer amplifies that by 1000.  You are a raging, angry and cruel person when you are drinking.  I don’t care if you don’t believe me about any of this.  Your non-belief doesn’t make it any less true.  You have a problem, and to be honest I give up.  I am just waiting for the kids to make it to college and I am gone.  Take the house.  Take my retirement.  Take it all if that’s all that means anything to you.  It will suck, but at least I will finally be free.  Spend it all and drink yourself into oblivion; just leave me and the kids alone.  We don’t deserve it.


Your fed up wife a.k.a. maid, atm, doormat

P.S. I may be as fat as you say I am, but I can always lose weight, however you will always be a cruel, insecure and empty person who was always too selfish to realize how many blessings he had been given.


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