Dear the love of my life, don’t get me wrong…

17 Jan

To the love of my life,

I love you. In a really big, achingly beautiful and utterly terrifying way. You have been able to make me happier than I ever thought possible, but you also have the power to break my heart without warning. I am so tired of being disappointed. I feel like these last months have been exhausting and I don’t know how much longer I can keep pulling this relationship along. Day in and day out I feel like I am holding the weight of us on my shoulders, without any help from you. Do you even care? Are you still in this with me?

Communication has always been a difficult thing for me. There are a million different thoughts whirling around my head and I can’t control them anymore. I’m upset. I’m heartbroken that you constantly choose your best friend over me. That his opinions and ideas are more important than mine. Do you realize how much that hurts? Do you realize how my heart breaks everytime you decide that you would rather make him happy than me? I am your girlfriend. You told me I was everything, yet you act like I am just another person you can piss off because I will “just get over it”. I’m not getting over it. I’m crying myself to sleep because I have all these thoughts and no one to tell.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m trying. I’m trying so hard to tell you that I am not happy, yet you’re always more interested in the football game on TV, or the episode of Community on Netflix. Really? Abed’s latest pop culture reference is more captivating than me confessing that I am unhappy? I just don’t understand.

It’s probably my fault. Actually, I know it’s my fault. I deserve better, but so do you. I’m sorry, but I can’t carry this weight anymore.

It’s over. It’s so over

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