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Dear Justin

23 Aug

Justin, my dear,

In one week and one day you will leave our beloved Kentucky town to move 3,000 miles away out to sunny California. Getting close to you has been one of the most treasured times of my short life. I’m sorry we didn’t have more time together but I know you’ll do great things out in Cali and I know this isn’t goodbye.
Still, when you’re gone I’ll miss your radio show and I’ll miss you taking unflattering photos of me eating. I’ll miss drinking beer and watching Breaking Bad with you and I’ll miss your wisecracks. I’ll miss every little thing about you. I’ll miss the way you grab my hand when we part ways and the way you stroke my hair. I’ll miss your suspenders and your doofy sneakers and the way you remind me of my dad.
I’ll miss you so much, Justin. But I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors.

You’re the best radio photographer I know.



Dear the love of my life, don’t get me wrong…

17 Jan

To the love of my life,

I love you. In a really big, achingly beautiful and utterly terrifying way. You have been able to make me happier than I ever thought possible, but you also have the power to break my heart without warning. I am so tired of being disappointed. I feel like these last months have been exhausting and I don’t know how much longer I can keep pulling this relationship along. Day in and day out I feel like I am holding the weight of us on my shoulders, without any help from you. Do you even care? Are you still in this with me?

Communication has always been a difficult thing for me. There are a million different thoughts whirling around my head and I can’t control them anymore. I’m upset. I’m heartbroken that you constantly choose your best friend over me. That his opinions and ideas are more important than mine. Do you realize how much that hurts? Do you realize how my heart breaks everytime you decide that you would rather make him happy than me? I am your girlfriend. You told me I was everything, yet you act like I am just another person you can piss off because I will “just get over it”. I’m not getting over it. I’m crying myself to sleep because I have all these thoughts and no one to tell.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m trying. I’m trying so hard to tell you that I am not happy, yet you’re always more interested in the football game on TV, or the episode of Community on Netflix. Really? Abed’s latest pop culture reference is more captivating than me confessing that I am unhappy? I just don’t understand.

It’s probably my fault. Actually, I know it’s my fault. I deserve better, but so do you. I’m sorry, but I can’t carry this weight anymore.

It’s over. It’s so over

Dear Husband, would it have been so hard?

13 Aug

Dear Husband,

I am done.  You have taken everything from me; my youth, my dreams, my hope.  You have taken it all.  I have nothing left except for my life and at some point, when I finally leave I am sure you will take that too.

Would it have been so hard just to be a good man?  Was it so difficult to just be kind and selfless and loving.  Did I not deserve that much if nothing else?

l can do nothing else except pray.  Pray that some day I will be strong enough to leave.  Pray that God keeps me safe from your harm.  Pray that at some point God places someone in my life that will show me what a real man is suppose to be; strength balanced with compassion and mercy.  Someone who would lay down his life for others. A man who loves unconditionally.

I feel sorry for you.  You chase your joys through your orders, your demands, your wants.  You wil never know that a true man finds his greatest joy in bringing joy to those he loves.

From, your broken-hearted wife

Dear Love of My Life, don’t give up on me..

9 Aug

Dear Love of my life,
I know you are out there and waiting for me.  Please don’t lose hope.  I know I will be 40 this year, but please don’t give up on me.  I know somehow, somewhere, some time soon we will find each other; and that hope is the only thing that keeps me going.
Please keep praying and dreaming for me and of me.
the love of your life

Dear Honey

20 Jul

I need you to step up and follow through. You have the potential to be a stable, honest, and wonderful husband. You’re intelligent, loving, empathetic, determined, and have dreams I believe you can complete. I want to be by your side cheering you on every step of the way, but you have to start believing in yourself and in us. It’s not fair for me to be waiting on the sidelines for you when you’re not standing right off stage for me. I need someone to support me, love me, and treat me the way I know I deserve, or I need to let you go. You decide. There is no longer waiting for “the right time”. It’s now or never. I want more than anything for it to be you, but if you’re not ready for that role, please let me say goodbye.
Praying you’ll prevail

Dear Husband, You’re an Alcoholic

21 Jun

Dear Husband,

You are an alcoholic.  Deny it all you want, but any man who finds it necessary to put 3 beers in a batman lunchbox to drink in the car while he waits in the parking lot for his kids during practice has a problem.  You drink when you get home.  You drink when you do yard work.  You drink when you watch TV. You tell me you just “need a beer”.  No one “needs” a beer that much.  And by the way, you are already an immature, obnoxious jerk when your sober; the beer amplifies that by 1000.  You are a raging, angry and cruel person when you are drinking.  I don’t care if you don’t believe me about any of this.  Your non-belief doesn’t make it any less true.  You have a problem, and to be honest I give up.  I am just waiting for the kids to make it to college and I am gone.  Take the house.  Take my retirement.  Take it all if that’s all that means anything to you.  It will suck, but at least I will finally be free.  Spend it all and drink yourself into oblivion; just leave me and the kids alone.  We don’t deserve it.


Your fed up wife a.k.a. maid, atm, doormat

P.S. I may be as fat as you say I am, but I can always lose weight, however you will always be a cruel, insecure and empty person who was always too selfish to realize how many blessings he had been given.

Dear US,

5 May

Dear us,

Dear us, always remember, and never look back with any remorse or regret. That should never come unless we fight or leave; That would be the remorse, but never us. They said, “we were too young”. They said, “time would tell”, but I didn’t need time because I knew. I knew you, and I knew me, and I knew us. They didn’t have knowledge on their side when they tried to tear down our doors and barriers. It was a wall so great it can never be overtaken or overwhelmed. It was like a stronghold, that love, and it still is just as we’ve wished it can carry on forevermore because we knew when they said we were sooo young, we knew and there was this gut feeling. I felt it from the inside out of all that was in me and that was me and that made me that even though, “we were sooo young”..we were sooo sure. And that sureness and its entirety, that barrier, that love, that makes you shake and quiver with a tingled sensation through my bones at your kiss on my forehead, or your arms and bear hugs, or your lips when they meet mine, or that glance when you look at me..that..that very thing was what I call US.

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