Dear 6th Period Boy

Dear 6th Period Boy,

I’m glad that you found her, even though every time you get near her  it makes me want to hurl. You see there was something special about you. From the day I met you. In fact the first time I remember seeing you was in my car, I remember telling my mother I thought I knew you from somewhere. You made me laugh, and I chose you to be my friend. I didn’t mean to start liking you. Not at all. I tried to make myself hate you. I mean it — I actually did. I’d been hurt before, incredibly hurt. I just didn’t want to deal with the pain.
But for a while you kept trying it. It was almost admirable how you did it. Just kept prodding and poking until I had to let myself see you. For who you where, and though you where so  shut off, we had some interesting moments where we both let our guards down. Do you remember them with a foundness now?
You told me about her, and I silently cursed myself for letting myself care. Because I couldn’t stomach you with her. ( I still can’t.) But I am slowly realizing that you where probably  not meant for me, as you probably aren’t meant for her. We are young I suppose. And this letter was never meant to reach you. In fact  it was never meant to be written, because even though I wrote this, Monday will come, and you will tease, and I will shine.

Even though I know I’m not yours, and there will never come a day when I am ok with that.

Me